If there's one thing the DoD can count on soldiers to be bluntly honest about, it's the food. In 2005, 400 soldiers from Fort Greely, Alaska, were asked to taste test a new menu of Meals, Ready to Eat for anything that might stand out to them.
Fort Greely's finest filled out the evaluation forms, which were then compiled and sent to the DoD office that manages the procurement of field rations. Grunts don't pull punches. That's kinda the whole point of their job.
The main result was that U.S. troops got new MREs. Luckily for us,ย the Smoking Gun got their hands on the actual reviewsย and some of the comments are gold.
1. Shakespeare:
โCheese spread with bread is never a liked mix. Anger is usually the result.โ
2. The prophet:
โI noticed this meal # was 666โฆI will probably die of a massive heart attack thank you for feeding me possessed food.โ
3. The skeptic:
โThis donut is just a brownie in a circle with crappy โfrostingโ what are you trying to pull?โ
4. The poet:
โI believe it was the dinner meal that caused this (Chicken and Dumplings), but it sounded like a flatulence symphony in my tent all night.โ
5. The biographer:
โI have disliked cabbage since childhood.โ
6. The drama queen:
โOh my god what were you thinkingโฆ don't give cabbage to a soldier ever again even POWs deserve better.โ
7. The fortune teller:
โThe entree will only be eaten if you haven't eaten all day.โ
8. The PR Rep:
โMaybe change the name โChicken Loaf,' [it] scares me.โ
9. PFC Gung Ho:
โPut Ranch Dressing on everything! Airborne!โ
10. The guy who's wrong about everything:
โF*ck hot sauce [put] gummy bears inside.โ
11. Sgt. WTF:
โTabasco is good in your coffee.โ
12. The Obvious Sapper:
โChange the Ranger bar name to โSapper Bar'โ
13. The Stream of Consciousness:
โ5 Veg ravioli โfriggin' sucks. Spiced apple โfriggin' rock. Apple cinn. Pound cake taste like cheap perfume. (Friggin). Is chocoletto a foreign Name crap? Pizza anything friggin rocks! Gum is good.โ
14. Staff Sgt. TMI:
โThis new menu has me using the latrine 3x a day.โ
15. Sgt. Maj. No Chance:
โPlease bring back cigarettes.โ
16. Pvt. Ungrateful:
โJerky is very, very good. How many years did it take to figure that out?โ
17. Sgt. Missing the Point:
โThe name should be fiesta breakfast party. That would be funny.โ
โThe vanilla pudding is so good I ripped it open, Licked the inside and rolled around on top of it like a dog. I prefer not to eat anything called loaf but in this case I made an exceptionโฆ thank god I DID.โ
Read the original article in its entirety at wearethemighty.com.